


Call me Steve

by clokkerfoot



Series: "Call me ____" [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: (very vaguely described), M/M, Sexual Content, Trans Natasha Romanov, Trans Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7003780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clokkerfoot/pseuds/clokkerfoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The journey from Saoirse Rogers to Steve Rogers, starting in the mid 30s and ending in present day.</p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>  <em>“I don’t think I’m a girl,” Steve mumbled over the glass of milkshake.</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>“The hell does that mean?” Bucky snorted.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Call me Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Steve's given name is Saoirse (pronounced SEER-sha), which means "freedom" in Irish-Gaelic. Har-de-har.

1.

Bucky had his hand in Saoirse’s panties and his lips on her neck. She pulled her hips back and his hand followed.

“Bucky,” she said, softly.

“Saoirse,” he said, just as softly, her name as easy as a breath on his lips.

His hand travelled lower.

“ _Bucky_ ,” she sighed, when he slid two fingers inside her.

“ _Saoirse._ ”

 

* * *

 

2.

They were on the couch. Bucky had his mouth closed around her, around the spot that made her toes curl.

“Saoirse,” he said into her. His tongue flicked.

“Call me Steve,” she said, “Please, God, call me Steve.”

Bucky appeared between her thighs, eyes mischievous. His hair was a birds nest. He nodded and disappeared between her legs again.

“Steve,” he said, and she cried.

 

* * *

 

3.

“And this is my Stevie,” Bucky said. The workman nodded and crushed his cigarette beneath his heel. It was the summer of 1938, and the sun was warm on Steve’s back.

“Quite a dame,” the workman said, to Bucky. Steve was nothing more than an accessory to him. “Better lock her up before someone more charming than you comes along, eh, Barnes?”

“Yessir,” Bucky said with a sparkling smile.

Steve pulled on Bucky’s elbow, said “Can we go?” and Bucky nodded.

“Already got you whipped,” the workman said. He leered at Steve like he would leer at a piece of meat in the butchers. “Already got you whipped.”

“Yessir,” Bucky said again. “She has.”

 

* * *

 

4.

“Don’t call me a girl,” Steve asked, when Bucky pushed inside and said _I love you, Stevie. You’re such a beautiful gal. My beautiful gal_. “Please don’t call me a girl.”

Bucky moved his hips forward once.

“You wanna be called a boy?” Bucky frowned, and it sounded like a joke when he said it. “Dontcha think that makes us kinda queer?”

“Don’t matter,” Steve said. “Makes me feel funny. Like I’m not right.”

Bucky moved again. Steve made a fist in the sheets and tried not to gasp.

“Alright,” Bucky said. “Alright.”

 

* * *

 

5.

“I don’t think I’m a girl,” Steve mumbled over the glass of milkshake. The servers didn’t bother Bucky and Steve much anymore, when they shared a glass.

Sometimes, Steve wore pants instead of a frock, and the servers stared and whispered like they were having sex right there on the table.

“The hell does that mean?” Bucky snorted.

“I ain’t Saoirse,” Steve continued, “Don’t feel right.”

“But you’re Steve.” Bucky persisted. Steve reached across and brushed a speck of dirt from the top of his cheekbone.

“Am I?”

 

* * *

 

6.

“My ma made me a dress,” Steve said. “A dress for the wedding.”

“The wedding?” Bucky asked. He was drinking again, his lips around the neck of a green bottle. Steve couldn’t look at his mouth for too long. “Who’s gettin’ hitched?”

“We are,” Steve answered, “Ma doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a man and a woman to live together if they ain’t an item.”

Bucky rose from his chair and walked to Steve’s side. He brushed Steve’s hair away from his forehead.

“Good thing you aren’t a gal,” Bucky said. “Good thing, huh?”

“Yeah,” Steve said.

 

* * *

 

7.

They didn’t get married, in the end. Steve’s ma died and took the thought with her.

Bucky held Steve while he cried and called him Steve, even though his ma’s headstone read _Wife of Joseph Rogers, Mother of Saoirse Rogers._

“It’s okay, Stevie,” Bucky murmured. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not. She thought I was Saoirse,” Steve said, and Bucky didn’t say anything else.

 

* * *

 

8.

“I’ve yet to meet a girl as determined to enlist as you,” the scientist from Queens said. “Why would a fine young woman such as yourself want to join the army?”

“I’m not a woman,” Steve said.

“Of course,” the scientist smiled, like he understood, like he knew how Steve felt, “I can offer you a chance. Only a chance.”

“I’ll take it.”

The paper was stamped with a bright red 1A, and Steve raised his chin when it was handed to him.

“Perhaps you’ll find what you’re looking for,” the scientist said.

 

* * *

 

9.

Steve hid in the bushes when he relieved himself. He told the others he was going second, rather than have them ask questions.

The exercises were harder on him, and not just because of his lungs.

The others knew something was up with him, but they didn’t know that the answer was between his legs and on his chest.

Steve’s shirts were the smallest size, and they were still too big for him. Too loose.

He was grateful for that.

 

* * *

 

10.

Peggy was beautiful. She treated him like a man, not a boy or a girl. Steve felt like a liar for loving her.

She knew something was different, but she never said a word against him.

“You must have danced,” Peggy said.

Steve stared at her heeled shoes in the footwell. He remembered wearing heeled shoes to a party once, and he wondered why Peggy felt so comfortable with who she was expected to be when Steve could hardly face it.

“I’m no one’s first choice,” Steve said.

“You could be,” she whispered.

 

* * *

 

11.

The scientist allowed Steve to keep his clothes on when he went into the machine.

“Just in case,” he said, “I wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea, looking at you. You know women aren’t allowed in the army.”

“I know,” Steve said.

Five minutes later, Steve didn’t look like a woman anymore.

 

* * *

 

12.

The shows went on, and Steve didn’t have to wear a dress like the dancers. He was given pants and a jacket, without question.

Steve felt more like _Steve_ , now.

Bucky wasn’t there to see him. It was a hollow victory.

 

* * *

 

13.

Bucky slipped his hand into Steve’s briefs and sighed.

“Thought you might’ve gotten what you wanted,” Bucky whispered. He cupped Steve and stroked against him with his middle finger.

A breeze rocked the canvas above them. Dum Dum mumbled something in his sleep, only a few feet away.

“I did,” Steve said, and he pulled Bucky down for a kiss.

 

* * *

 

14.

Peggy kissed him goodbye. She knew, she _knew_ , but she kissed him anyway.

“Go get him,” she whispered.

Steve fell in more ways than one.

 

* * *

 

15.

The 21st century came with private anonymity. Everyone knew Captain America and knew Steve Rogers, but no one alive knew Saoirse Rogers.

He wore suits, and no one looked twice. He drank beer and rode a Harley, and no one looked twice.

He took women to bed, and no one looked twice. He took men to bed, and no one looked twice.

Even Steve forgot, sometimes.

 

* * *

 

16.

Steve found Bucky mere days after the events at the Triskelion.

He remembered, but he remembered wrong.

“They all call you Steve,” Bucky said, “but in my head your name is Saoirse.”

“I’m Steve,” he told Bucky for the second time in his life. “Call me Steve.”

“Steve,” Bucky said. “Steve,” he said.

 

* * *

 

17.

Bucky found out that Steve was transgender before even Steve did.

“Folk like you are called transgenders,” Bucky said, his metal fingers drumming on the edge of his laptop, “No. Transgender _people_ , not transgenders.”

“Like me?”

“Not what they were born as,” Bucky clarified. “Gender flipped, or something like that.”

It felt strange to have a label for a problem that had bothered him for most of his life.

 

* * *

 

18.

“You’re _trans_?” Tony said, sounding for all the world as though Steve had announced he was a Nazi.

“Does it matter?” Sam said, “You’re Steve, and that's all that counts.”

 

* * *

 

19.

“I'm trans, too,” Nat said, softly.

 _Tangled_ was playing on the television, and most of the Avengers were asleep in front of it. Bucky was lying across Steve’s lap, snoring, content at last.

“Like me?”

“No,” Nat said, “The other way around. Same concept, different genitals, different identities, blah blah. I was called Nathan.”

“Ah,” Steve said. “Saoirse.”

 

* * *

 

20.

Bucky had his hand in Steve’s briefs and his lips on his neck. Steve pulled his hips back and Bucky’s hand followed.

“Bucky,” he said, softly.

“Steve,” he said, just as softly, his name far more than just another breath on his lips.

His hand travelled lower.

“ _Bucky_ ,” Steve sighed, when Bucky slid two fingers inside him.

“ _Steve_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr [here](http://clokkerfoot.tumblr.com/).


End file.
